Mister Peepers - Ben Folds

God bless the bureaucrat and the lawyer, too

They’re public punching bags

But someone’s gotta do it

It’s not so sexy, the procedure or the truth

I say God bless the bureaucrat and the lawyer, too

The House Intelligence Committee piles on

They’d love to know what Rosenstein has on the boss

But it’s just for cameras, yeah, it’s just a show of force

Y’all know he can’t comply

But that’s the point, of course

So they call him Mister Peepers

As the thugs all smash his glasses

Going full Lord of the Flies

Burning this island down to ashes

What’s the rule of law if we can’t agree on what a fact is?

There ain’t nothing here to see, folks, move along, move along

Thank God for facts

They’re stubborn things indeed

But little cowboys will try cases on TV

It doesn’t make it so

Because you make believe

You can’t lose in court and appeal on Hannity

The distinguished wrestler from Ohio

He’s free to lie, he’s not the one who’s under oath

The law don’t suit the boss

This Deputy must go

We got him in the locker room, boys

Start the show

So they call him Mister Peepers

Send some thugs to smash his glasses

If he’s gone and peeped the wrong thing

Then they’ll burn his name to ashes

What’s the rule of law

If we can’t establish what a fact is?

There ain’t nothing here to see, folks, move along, ah move along

They say it dies in the dark

Right now, they’re trying to kill it in broad daylight

Can flashlights really fight bombs?

We’ll see

Right now

You boys are Christians, right?

What would Jesus do?

Would he bury crimes and carry water like a stooge?

Or smear a family man in case he tells the truth

About the boss?

Yeah, what would Jesus do?

Would he call him Mister Peepers?

Send some thugs to smash his glasses?

The institution’s standing

Though we tried our best to trash it

Aren’t we all the keepers

Of this fragile young Republic?

And when all those Mister Peepers people fall…

Lord help us all