Uncle Walter - Ben Folds Five

Come on

Your uncle Walter’s goin' on and on

'Bout everything he’s seen and done

The voice of fifty years experience

He’s drunk watchin' the television

You know he’s been around the world, last night

He flew to Baghdad in his magical armchair

With cigarettes and a six pack, yeah, he just got back

The spits flyin' everywhere, hey, hey, hey, hey

Your uncle Walter’s goin' on and on

(Oh, you’re back so late)

Where did you go that you were gone so long?

So, how could you leave me here so long with uncle Walter?

Your uncle Walter saw who fired the shots

He drove his chair in the cavalcade

He’s flown from South Africa to countries where

They beat themselves on the backs with chains

There was a fleet of battleships and one reclinin' chair

Headed north on the Arabian sea, now he’s back

To tell us what he and his oldest boy Blair

They’re gettin' rich with a mail order scheme, oh, oh

Your uncle Walter saw who fired the shots

(We're so glad you’re home)

Where did you go that you were gone so long?

How could you leave me here so long with uncle Walter?

Your uncle Walter told me

Everythin' he’d do if he was president

Now, what a perfect world this world would be

If he was president now but he’s not

And he sees the children smokin' pot

He knows that in a moment they’ll be

Shootin' up heroin, teardrops in his armchair

A fifty minute lecture, tobacco juice rollin' down his chin

Your uncle Walter’s goin' on and on

(Oh, you’re back so late)

Where did you go that you were gone so long?

So how could you leave me here so long with uncle Walter?

Come on