The Gooberville Ballroom Dancer - Beardfish

He was a filthy motherfucker

By the name of Dwight

He only bathed 'bout once a year

He didn’t smell alright

His father was a drunken bastard

Couldn’t do things right

His mother died while she was giving birth

When she saw her Dwight

He had the great ambition to be one who girls would adore

And if he could have the chance to flourish in a wild romance…

… He could be a fraud or a fake just like those guys on TV

«Dwight thought about it for a while and then it occured to him,

all he had to do to be popular in Gooberville, the place where he lived,

was to come up with something he was really good at.

The problem was that the

only thing he’d ever been remotely interested by in his youth was ballroom

dancing, and that ain’t too cool.

But if I could find a way, he thought,

to combine the ballroom dancing with the fearsome attitude of more present day

youth activities…»

… I could be the king of a generation lost in a daze

Salsa, cha-cha, pasodoble

Blended in the hardcore pace

He could dance it all he would never fall

Women by his side rhymin', going wild

He would take 'em all!

He took all the money he had saved

Sold his comic-books too

Bought a baby-blue custom-made gabardine-suite with matching turquoise

dancing-shoes

He took a shower at least once a week

And now he smelled all right

His mother really would be proud of him

If she could see her Dwight

Then it was time to show Gooberville what talent Dwight had concealed

Who would have thought that smelly brat could pull off such sex appeal

He was now the king of the floor

And no one could match his moves

All except the lovely Eve

Dressed in silk with natural gloom

They pulled off a stunt sliding 'cross the floor

He could feel her breasts & her eyes wanted more

He would take her home!

And then slide her knickers down…

Who would have thought that such a man could do such a thing?

What is it, aphrodisiac or something?

Who would have thought that women lined up by his door to ask him out to the

dance floor?

Would you go to the park with me this Friday?

Nah, maybe next week,

alright sweetie!

The sexual experts unified opinion:

«It is now established that the reason Dwight has luck with ladies is

clam-exctract vaporizing from his greasy hair!

«And all the professors say:

«This is a damn miracle we must take him down here and run some tests!»

Doesn’t matter if you’re a fraud just like those guys who’re uptight

You could be a jerk or a nerd just like that Gooberville Dwight

And he’s alright

Yes he is!

He was a filthy motherfucker

By the name of Dwight

He was a filthy motherfucker

Now he is alright