Founding Fathers (Rap) - Trevor Moore

The name is George Washington, but it’s The General to you

Or you could call me President One, not three or two

And you probably heard a lot of silly stories 'bout me

But let me lay it down how raw it really used to be

I got a hemp operation, back at the plantation

Selling the stickiest shit around the new nation

So come run and find me if you wanna get high

Cause honestly, I got the bombest, I cannot tell a lie

Pick it dry, of course I’m gonna try it

Bag it up and brick it and then just let them buy it

And if the Brits want to come and take a piece of the cut

I’ll raise a whole fuckin' army, let 'em see what’s what

The King’s like «Yo, I gotta get paid»

I’m like «Tough titty, cause y’all’s a whole ocean away

And you can try to send some ships to come and make me pay up

But that’s an awful long way just to suck these nuts»

You get my fuckin' message, son?

Take it, Thomas Jefferson

Sell drugs (Sell drugs)

Run guns (Run guns)

Nail sluts and fuck the law (Fuck the law)

We’re founding fathers, we’re Rushmore shit

And we were all high as balls (High as balls)

The Declaration of Independence

I wrote so high I’m surprised it makes sense

But we find these truths to be self-evident

It goes puff puff pass and next round you get skipped

Abe Lincoln

I know what you’re thinkin'

Greatest President ever, I’ll have what he’s drinkin'

Yeah, well see, that’s where you’d be wrong

Cause if you want to chill with me

You better go and grab that bong

Or an apple or a can, see, you do not understand

Faded 24/7 cause that’s just the way I am

I can see you’re having a little trouble believing me

Then check this letter that I wrote, recorded down in history

Ahem, «Two of my favorite things are sitting on my porch

And smoking a pipe of that sweet hemp, of course»

That’s a quote that I wrote while I was still in office

But enough of that, I am too high, I have to back up off this

Where’s my horse, I think I need to go and ride him home

I was supposed to leave about four score and twenty rips ago

You see my hat?

I like it, I kinda think it looks like a stove

Scratch it, pass it one more time and let me hit it for the road

Sell drugs (Sell drugs)

Run guns (Run guns)

Nail sluts and fuck the law (Fuck the law)

We’re founding fathers, we’re Rushmore shit

And we were all high as balls (High as balls)

And don’t let 'em try and tell you we grew it just for rope

You can check what we wrote down in our harvest notes

We separated seeds that we found more potent

In layman’s terms we were into getting bent

Smokin' out the Continental Congress

Everybody’s bitches be like all up on us

Patrick Henry’s in the corner looking pretty well spent

Ben Franklin got so high he forgot to be President

Your girl just said she never had a hit so good

Smoked so many trees that my fuckin' teeth turned wood

And if they make a monument to me when I die

It’ll be a giant abstract joint up in the sky

But you know they’re gonna whitewash me

Make up some corny shit about me chopping cherry trees

It’s hard to control a people if their founders are thugs

So they’ll just teach them that I was all prayers, puppies and hugs

But that just ain’t the way it was

We set this whole place up with a hell of a buzz

So next time they try and tell you that this stuff is wrong

Look at a dollar, light a blunt, fuckin' sing my song

Sell drugs (Sell drugs)

Run guns (Run guns)

Nail sluts and fuck the law (Fuck the law)

We’re founding fathers, we’re Rushmore shit

And we were all high as balls (High as balls)

The Declaration of Independence

I wrote so high I’m surprised it makes sense

But we find these truths to be self-evident

It goes puff puff pass and next round you get skipped

We’re the founders, and we found this

And we found it with some cannabis

We’re the founders, and we found this

And we found it with some cannabis

Mount Rushmore crew!

A stone monument to some monumental stoners

G. Washington, T. Jefferson, and A. Lincoln

And fuck that other guy!

Calvin Coolidge, whoever the fuck

We history